It was a long, long, long time ago—and seems like it was in a galaxy far, far away.
My wife moved out with our son while I was at work. I knew she had been talking with a guy on the phone—she would be giggling like a school girl when I came in from work. I voiced my concerns about what she was doing. She said, “OH! HE’S JUST A FRIEND!”
They will all say that.
Then our four-year-old son told my mom that her “friend” would come over and lock themselves in our bedroom.
My wife, who I found out was a world class liar, said she was staying with a girlfriend. I knew better.
I did some digging and found out a lot about her “friend.” One thing I found out was that he sold exercise equipment and attended a Unitarian Church.
Now, at this time I was around 25 – 26 years of age and she was 24.
Anyway, I called the pastor and said I heard that one of his church members sold exercise equipment, and I wanted to get in touch with him to buy some. He gave me the guy’s number.
I called and, lo and behold, my wife answered the phone. I told her that she had 30 minutes to get my son back to me, or the police would be swarming all over their love nest and she would be charged with parental kidnapping. I got my son back within 30 minutes!
I had my lawyer draft up a divorce agreement. I invited her to lunch and then we went to the lawyer’s office. During lunch I told her, “You want to be footloose and fancy free to pursue your new love. It would be best if our son stayed with me, and you can visit him whenever you want. He doesn’t need to be in a new, strange situation—especially as your new boyfriend has other kids.” So we then went to my lawyer’s office and she signed it.
Later, she tried to reneg on the deal, because her new boyfriend wanted her to get our son so they could get child support money from me to support themselves. In the courtroom, the judge asked her why she signed the agreement if she didn’t plan to honor it.
“Well, your honor,” she said, “my husband has guns.”
“So what?” asked the judge. “Lots of men in Georgia have guns. Did he threaten you with a gun?”
“Why, yes, your honor,” she said, sounding completely earnest. “That’s exactly what happened.”
“Well, young lady,” said the judge, “the only way this could have happened would be your husband holding a gun on you in the lawyer’s office. Is this what happened?”
Now, I should explain that her new “hippie” boyfriend, who was a disgrace to his former Army uniform, had given her some kind of drug to relax her for court. But he gave her too much, as she was high as a kite. But to continue . . .
“Yes, your honor,” she said, “that’s exactly what happened.”
“Well, young lady,” said the judge, “I happen to know that your husband’s attorney, who is also the county attorney, would never permit such a thing. I find your story to be completely without credibility. Case dismissed in favor of the plaintiff !”
If one were to go over the transcripts of the Richmond County court for September 1976, you would find my wife’s false, perjured testimony.
The adultery was bad enough, and the lying was just as bad, but I will never, ever forgive her for lying under oath in a court of law, saying that I held a gun on her to make her sign a divorce agreement!”
Her first name is Judith. Her paramour’s name was Martin. I say “was” because the S.O.B. is dead. When he got sick, she had him transferred to a nursing home. He died unvisited, unloved and alone. She didn’t even have a memorial service for the dead S.O.B.
Now, when you are confronted with something like this, your natural instinct is to take out the guy who broke up your family. That was not an option, however, as my first duty was to my son. And I knew that if I had taken him out, she would have found somebody just as sorry or sorrier within the hour.
He’s dead now, and she’s alone, and as big as a refrigerator. I now have a lovely, loving wife who would never even think of cheating.
Folks—a lying, cheating spouse isn’t the end of the world. And neither your cheating spouse or their paramour is worth ruining your life.
Put such an episode behind you. The problem with your cheating spouse was not you—it was your cheating spouse. God will deal with him or her—I promise!
This answer was originally published on quora
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